Feel Free Again with Cole James

037: Military's Grief Recovery Challenges: Sandy Wheeler's Journey Through Grief and PTSD

In this episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, host Cole James interviews Sandy Wheeler, a Vietnam veteran and creator of the Life's Final Thoughts app. The conversation explores the importance of emotional communication, especially in the context of grief and loss. Sandy shares his personal experiences with PTSD and the impact of unresolved grief, particularly in military settings.
The app aims to help individuals record video messages for their loved ones, preserving their voices and messages for future generations. The discussion emphasizes the need for emotional debriefing, the role of family in healing, and the significance of leaving a legacy through meaningful communication.
Connect with Sandy: https://www.lifesthoughts.com
Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction to Sandy Wheeler and His Mission
06:12 -Sandy's Journey Through Grief and PTSD
12:24 - The Impact of Technology on Grief Recovery
18:03 - Creating Lasting Memories Through Video Messages
23:51 - The Importance of Emotional Communication
29:51 - Collaborative Efforts in Grief Recovery
35:42 - Technical Difficulties and Transition
36:56 - The Military's Grief Recovery Challenges
40:26 - The Impact of Grief on Individuals
42:34 - Communication and Emotional Intelligence
44:56 - Understanding the Warrior's Experience
48:45 - The Power of Personal Videos
51:32 - Navigating Estranged Relationships
55:12 - Final Thoughts on Love and Legacy

036: Healing from Church Hurt: How Grief Recovery Transforms Communities

In this powerful episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, I chat with Amy Diane Ross, a Grief Recovery Method Specialist and Bible teacher, about her transformative journey through grief and healing. Amy's story is deeply personal – she started this work as a way to help others but ended up healing her own heart in ways she never anticipated. From dealing with childhood trauma to navigating complex relationships, she found profound freedom through the Grief Recovery Method. Her experience proves that emotional healing is not just about overcoming loss, but about learning how to process grief to live fully in the present.
Amy's passion for emotional wellness within the Christian community is contagious. She discusses the importance of offering healing tools in church settings and how they can help create healthier, more compassionate congregations. With years of ministry and outreach work, Amy shows us that meeting people where they are emotionally – without judgment – is key to real transformation. Whether you are dealing with grief from personal loss or church hurt, Amy shares how these methods can help you find peace and forgiveness. If you're struggling with emotional pain or unfinished grief, this conversation is a must-listen.
Amy’s approach emphasizes the power of self-disclosure, vulnerability, and using grief recovery tools to create lasting healing in our lives and communities. Tune in and discover how grief recovery can restore your emotional health, strengthen your relationships, and deepen your faith journey.
Connect with Amy:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amydianeross/
Website: https://www.bethechurchministry.com/
 
Timestamps with Titles:
00:00 - Introduction to Amy Diane Ross and Her Journey Cole and Amy dive into her background and the work she does with Grief Recovery.
02:10 - How Amy Found the Grief Recovery Method Amy shares the emotional journey that led her to discover grief recovery, after losing her father.
04:40 - The Power of a Listening Heart: Amy’s Personal Healing Experience Amy describes the transformative impact of being truly heard during her grief recovery process.
07:10 - Grief Recovery in Christian Communities: A Missing Link Why this method is essential in helping the Christian community heal from emotional pain.
09:40 - The Importance of Emotional Healing in Churches Amy explains why churches need tools like grief recovery to help people emotionally process loss.
13:00 - Church Hurt and Unresolved Grief: How It Affects Congregations Exploring how grief and pain are often overlooked in church communities and the damage that can cause.
16:20 - How Grief Recovery Builds Trust and Vulnerability in Relationships The crucial role that emotional openness plays in building deeper, authentic relationships.
19:00 - Emotional Health for Pastors: Why They Need Grief Recovery Too Amy discusses the importance of pastors and leaders undergoing grief recovery to avoid burnout.
22:30 - Why Grief Recovery Should Be the First Step in Discipleship The benefits of starting with grief recovery before diving into Bible-based counseling.
30:00 - Practical Tools for Dealing with Grief and Trauma Amy talks about how the grief recovery tools provide a systematic approach to healing emotional pain.

035: How to Help Student Athletes Handle Pressure & Emotions with Coach Caelyn Caulfield

When I sat down with Caelyn Caulfield, I knew this conversation would hit home for so many coaches, parents, and athletes. As a varsity basketball head coach and future school counselor, she’s bringing the grief recovery tools she’s learned into the gym, the classroom, and her everyday life with students. What stood out most to me is how intentional she is about giving her team space to process emotions—not just run plays.
Too often, coaches and parents expect kids to "shake it off" or hide their feelings when they miss a shot, lose a game, or face personal struggles. But as Caelyn shared, those unresolved emotions don’t disappear—they follow kids into the next practice, the classroom, and even into adulthood. By creating weekly team meetings that focus on themes like trust, she’s building stronger athletes and healthier young women who know it’s okay to feel and process life as it comes.
This episode is a call to action for every coach, teacher, and parent: emotions aren’t a distraction from the game—they’re the foundation of growth. Whether you’re on the field, in the dugout, or at home cheering in the stands, we all have a responsibility to model emotional health for the next generation. I think you’ll walk away from this conversation inspired to lead with more compassion and intentionality—on and off the court.
 
Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction to Unresolved Emotions
01:39 - Caelyn Caulfield's Journey to Certification
04:09 - Applying Emotional Tools in Coaching
08:23 - Creating a Safe Space for Emotions
12:24 - The Importance of Vulnerability in Sports
16:11 - Building Trust and Team Dynamics
20:34 - The Work Behind Emotional Coaching
24:37 - Navigating Change and Grief in Teams
33:19 - Navigating Emotions in Youth Sports
36:09 - Building Relationships and Accountability
39:28 - Understanding Grief in Young Athletes
43:41 - The Impact of Unfinished Business on Coaching
48:05 - Connecting with Students in Detention
54:40 - Emotional Engagement in Coaching and Life
 
Cole James, President of the Grief Recovery Institute, shares about the Power of Grief Recovery! Cole is dedicating his life to help people with grief. Now, grief is much more than just losing someone. Did you know that? You've probably heard of the Five Stages of Grief, right? Well, this goes much deeper than you think. Let me explain. Everyone has some type of grief in their lives, some haven't yet, but it's part of life. We can't escape it, BUT we can work through it. And you don't have to do it alone. Let's talk about it.
We have trained Grief Recovery Method Specialists, who help heartbroken people, in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, the Middle East, Central America, South America, and North America. The Grief Recovery Method Certification Program is taught and available in multiple languages including: English, Spanish, Swedish, Hungarian, Ukrainian, and Russian. Our home office is in the United States and serves English-speaking nations and populations around the world, such as the United Kingdom, Canada, and the Commonwealth Nations. In addition, we have international affiliate offices in Sweden, Australia, Mexico, and Hungary.
Our goal is to help as many people as possible, which is why our books have been translated into over 30 languages including: Spanish, French, Dutch, Portuguese, Japanese, Ukrainian, Russian, and many more.
For more information visit: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/
 

034: Finding Purpose After Losing Loved Ones - It is possible with Laylani Colibri

In this episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, host Cole James engages in a heartfelt conversation with Laylani Colibri, formerly known as Laura Jack. Leilani shares her transformative journey through grief after the sudden loss of her mother, which catalyzed her path towards becoming a grief recovery specialist.
Connect with Laylani:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laylanicolibri/
Websites: https://linktr.ee/lsjack?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=9687c4e6-236c-4337-b8f0-a8786de1ffa9
She discusses her discovery of the Grief Recovery Method, her experiences in training, and the evolution of grief recovery training into the digital age. The conversation also delves into Laylani's courageous decision to change her name and live authentically, emphasizing the importance of making personal choices that align with one's true self.
Throughout the episode, Laylani's passion for helping others navigate their grief and find healing shines through, making for an inspiring and insightful discussion. In this conversation, Laylani Colibri shares her journey of navigating parental expectations, the impact of grief on her identity, and the importance of self-acceptance.
She discusses how her mother's death influenced her relationship with her father and her struggle with people-pleasing. The dialogue explores the nuances of emotional responsibility in relationships and the significance of compassionate communication. Laylani introduces her book, The Compassion Code, which aims to help individuals support others through their challenges while also taking care of themselves.
 
Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction to Laylani Colibri
02:10 - Laylani Colibri's Journey Through Grief
09:36 - Discovering the Grief Recovery Method
12:21- Becoming a Grief Recovery Specialist
19:10 - The Evolution of Grief Recovery Training
25:10 -Living Authentically: Laylani Colibri's Name Change
28:11 - Empowering Others Through Personal Choices
28:50 - Navigating Parental Expectations and Personal Freedom
31:14 - The Impact of Grief on Identity and Relationships
35:18 - The Journey of Self-Acceptance and Loving Choices
39:58 - Understanding Emotional Responsibility in Relationships
53:11 - The Compassion Code: Bridging Grief and Compassionate Communication
 
 

033: Challenging Myths About Child Loss & Finding the Right Support

In this episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, host Cole James speaks with Kira Pertuit, a certified grief recovery method specialist, about her personal journey through grief after losing her daughter. Kira shares her struggles with traditional grief support and how she discovered the grief recovery method, which helped her heal and transform her life.
They discuss the common myths surrounding grief, particularly the belief that time alone heals, and emphasize the importance of taking action to process grief. Kira highlights the possibility of finding joy and fulfillment in life despite the pain of loss, and they explore the emotional complexities of grieving, especially in the context of losing a child.
The conversation aims to challenge misconceptions about grief and encourage listeners to seek support and healing. In this conversation, Cole James and Kira Pertuit explore the complexities of grief, the importance of finding the right support systems, and the transformative power of grief recovery methods. They discuss personal experiences with loss, the challenges of navigating grief in community settings, and the impact of unresolved grief on relationships and mental health.
Kira shares her work in the Montana Women's Prison, highlighting the effectiveness of grief recovery tools in helping incarcerated women process their grief and find healing. The discussion emphasizes the need for emotional completeness in relationships and the importance of addressing grief in a constructive manner.
Connect with Kira:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aspensangelsmt
Website: https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/kira-pertuit
 
00:00 - Introduction to Grief Recovery
01:03 - Kira's Personal Journey with Grief
03:14 - The Impact of Time on Grief
05:42 - Navigating the Loss of a Child
08:45 - Finding Joy Amidst Grief
10:50 - Understanding Sadness vs. Pain
11:44 - The Process of Grieving
15:54 - Timing in Grief Recovery
18:32 - The Role of Identity in Grief
20:50 - The Balance of Emotions in Grief
22:01 - Challenging Myths About Child Loss
24:52 - Navigating Grief: Finding the Right Support
32:28 - Understanding the Impact of Loss on Relationships
36:25 - Empowering Change: Grief Recovery in Prisons
42:56 - Tools for Emotional Completeness in Daily Life

032: Helping Children Heal: A New Approach to Grief in Schools - with Deborah Brown

In this heartfelt episode, Cole James interviews Deborah Brown, founder of GIFTS (Grief Information for Teachers and Services), a UK-based initiative focused on supporting children through grief using the Grief Recovery Method. Deborah shares her deeply personal journey through grief, beginning with the death of her mother in 2013 and then her sister in 2016. Both losses were profound and compounded by the pressure to “stay strong” for her children, which led Deborah to suppress her own emotions and carry the weight of unprocessed grief.
Her turning point came after a colleague gently encouraged her to seek support, helping her realize that staying busy wasn't healing. That moment prompted her to explore resources, though she struggled to find a grief tool that actually helped—until she encountered the Grief Recovery Method. Deborah later became a certified specialist and began teaching the Helping Children with Loss course to educators, health professionals, clergy, and others who work with children.
Through her experiences, Deborah recognized that unresolved grief in children is often overlooked—especially when it comes to losses like divorce, terminal illness in the family, or even the death of a pet. In response, she developed the Lessons in Loss journal series to give kids a safe outlet to process emotions. These include guides for specific events such as losing a parent, suicide, imprisonment of a loved one, and more. Each journal is paired with an adult support guide to equip parents, teachers, and caregivers with practical tools to engage with grieving children.
The episode emphasizes the urgent need for adults to do their own grief work so they can model healthy emotional processing for children. As Cole notes, “We can't help kids grieve well if we haven't done it ourselves.” Both he and Deborah challenge leaders and parents to be courageous in facing their own pain—because dysregulated adults can’t support dysregulated children.
Deborah ends by encouraging listeners to reflect on what might be holding them back from healing and to take action. Her final words: “You need to be able to complete with that… Put yourself first, and don’t take anything except the absolute best for you.”
Connect with Deborah: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Mrs-Deborah-Jane-Brown/author/B0CCZW3KTZ?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=d7124efd-a0c2-4833-a155-a528ab5481a8
 
Timestamps:
00:00 – From Grief to Purpose: Deborah’s Story Begins
03:35 – The Loss That Changed Everything
06:45 – A Second Blow: Losing Her Sister Too Soon
10:01 – When Staying Busy Becomes a Mask
13:45 – Anger, Denial, and the Misuse of Grief Stages
17:05 – Grieving Children Are Everywhere—and Often Missed
22:00 – The Power of the Grief Recovery Method
25:41 – Teaching Teachers to Heal: The HCWL Course
29:25 – Why We Must Equip Adults Before We Can Heal Children
33:50 – Lessons in Loss: Journals That Give Kids a Voice

031: How Grief Affects Your Health with Doctor Emőke Sarungi

In this episode of the Feel Free Again podcast, Cole James interviews Dr. Emőke Sarungi, a psychiatrist and the leader of the Grief Recovery Institute in Hungary.
They discuss Dr. Emőke personal journey with grief, the establishment of the Grief Recovery Institute, and the importance of addressing grief in living relationships. Dr. Emőke shares her experiences with college students and how the grief recovery method has transformed her life and the lives of others. The conversation emphasizes the significance of emotional communication and creating a supportive community for grievers.
In this conversation, Cole James and Dr. Emőke Sarungi explore the profound impact of relationships on emotional health, the journey of navigating cancer, and the importance of grief recovery. Dr. Emőke shares her personal experiences with cancer and how the grief recovery method has helped her cope with her emotions and maintain connections with loved ones.
Connect with Dr. Emőke Sarungi:https://sarungi.hu/index.php/bemutatkozas/
The Grief Recovery Method® originated in the USA in the 1970s from the Grief Recovery Institute founded and led by John W. James and Russell Friedman. Since then, centers that use the method and train grief recovery method specialists have been established and are operating in several countries and in Hungary. Under the leadership of Andrea Herke Dahlgren, a grief recovery method specialist trained in Sweden and Los Angeles, the method has been taught in Hungary since 2009 at the Grief Recovery Method® Hungary center, both in groups and individually, to help grieving people and people who have experienced a variety of emotional losses (divorce, breakup, job loss, loss of trust, moving, etc.). Based on the feedback from hundreds of participants so far and the results of the research conducted at the center so far, the self-help method can be effective in processing a variety of emotional losses and in preventing physical and mental health damage caused by unprocessed grief.
The professional director of the center since 2012 is Dr. Emőke Sarungi, an adult and child psychiatrist, group analytical psychotherapist, and Grief Recovery Method® Trainer. She completed the Grief Recovery Specialist training at the Grief Recovery Institute in Los Angeles/Sherman Oaks in 2011 and 2015 with Russell Friedman, one of the developers of the method and the author of the book.
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction to Grief Recovery and Its Importance
02:14 - Emőke's Journey to the Grief Recovery Method
06:01 - Establishing the Grief Recovery Institute in Hungary
09:36 - Engaging College Students with Grief Recovery
13:27 - Personal Grief: Emőke's Experience with Her Father's Passing
18:33 - The Impact of Grief Recovery on Living Relationships
22:46 - Creating a Supportive Community for Grievers
25:54 - Navigating Grief in Different Contexts
29:32 - The Importance of Grief Recovery Before Losses Occur
32:30 - The Importance of Relationships
35:08 - Navigating Cancer and Emotional Recovery
41:01 - Grief and the Body: A Personal Journey
44:43 - The Impact of Grief on Health
48:08 - Growing the Grief Recovery Method in Europe
53:23 - Empowering Future Helpers
 

030: Emotional Breakthrough: How One Couple Healed Their Marriage with Grief Recovery

Cole James welcomes husband and wife duo Alfonzo and Gwendolyn Jones to share their powerful transformation story through the Grief Recovery Method. Gwendolyn first discovered the method during a personal season of feeling lost and purposeless. After reading The Grief Recovery Handbook on the recommendation of her pastor, she got certified and experienced a profound emotional breakthrough. Her personal transformation inspired Alfonzo to get certified as well—even though he originally didn’t think he “needed” it.
 
Together, they used the tools not just individually, but to heal their marriage—most notably by completing “relationship graphs” and grief letters for each other, which unearthed years of unresolved pain and brought deep emotional healing. They describe how grief recovery shifted their communication from surface-level and combative to emotionally honest and heart-centered, using tools like active listening, emotional paraphrasing, and intentional vulnerability.
 
As parents, the method helped them radically change how they connect with their children. They started creating safe, open environments where feelings were heard and validated—replacing harmful “be strong” messaging with empathy and emotional tools. Gwendolyn shares how she had to re-learn affection with her daughter, and Alfonzo highlights how seeing grief as 100% real for each person—even if it's just a lost crayon—changed how he parented.
 
The couple now integrates these tools into leadership coaching and everyday life, encouraging others to do the personal work that leads to relational healing and generational change. They emphasize that grief is not limited to death or divorce but includes losses of identity, safety, trust, and more. Their closing message: doing this work personally is essential before we can lead, parent, or love well.
 
Where to find them:
Gwendolyn: GwendolynJJones.com
Alfonzo: TrifectaPrime.com