030: Emotional Breakthrough: How One Couple Healed Their Marriage with Grief Recovery

Cole James welcomes husband and wife duo Alfonzo and Gwendolyn Jones to share their powerful transformation story through the Grief Recovery Method. Gwendolyn first discovered the method during a personal season of feeling lost and purposeless. After reading The Grief Recovery Handbook on the recommendation of her pastor, she got certified and experienced a profound emotional breakthrough. Her personal transformation inspired Alfonzo to get certified as well—even though he originally didn’t think he “needed” it.

Together, they used the tools not just individually, but to heal their marriage—most notably by completing “relationship graphs” and grief letters for each other, which unearthed years of unresolved pain and brought deep emotional healing. They describe how grief recovery shifted their communication from surface-level and combative to emotionally honest and heart-centered, using tools like active listening, emotional paraphrasing, and intentional vulnerability.

As parents, the method helped them radically change how they connect with their children. They started creating safe, open environments where feelings were heard and validated—replacing harmful “be strong” messaging with empathy and emotional tools. Gwendolyn shares how she had to re-learn affection with her daughter, and Alfonzo highlights how seeing grief as 100% real for each person—even if it's just a lost crayon—changed how he parented.

The couple now integrates these tools into leadership coaching and everyday life, encouraging others to do the personal work that leads to relational healing and generational change. They emphasize that grief is not limited to death or divorce but includes losses of identity, safety, trust, and more. Their closing message: doing this work personally is essential before we can lead, parent, or love well.